Leonardo DiCaprio Allegedly 'Raped Twice By A Bear' In Dubious Early Review Of 'The Revenant'

Americans reacted to Tuesday’s historic Paris summit, which could determine the future of the human species… by indulging in mass hysteria about a bear “raping” Leonardo DiCaprio.

While President Obama and other world leaders mulled the future of the planet in the French capital, the Drudge Report posted a link to an early review of ‘The Revenant,’ Fox’s Christmas day movie, under the headline:

DICAPRIO RAPED BY BEAR IN FOX MOVIE

The things one must do to win an Oscar these days...

DICAPRIO RAPED BY BEAR IN FOX MOVIE!

https://t.co/MUvU9KncKF

— MATT DRUDGE (@DRUDGE) December 1, 2015

The review, published on the conservative aggregation site, claims the ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ actor is confronted by a Yellowstone Grizzly, which invades him during a nasty mauling.

“The story of rural survivalism and revenge reaches new violent levels for a mainstream film,” the review squeals. “The bear flips Leo over and thrusts and thrusts during the explicit mauling. He is raped -- twice!"

Twitter responded with typical understatement:

I don't remember that Leo DiCaprio scene going down like that at all pic.twitter.com/obe4W4fgS2

— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) December 1, 2015

Bear: "Did we get it *that* time?"
Director: "We got it. The next scene is..."
DiCaprio: "Hold on! I didn't feel present. One more take?"

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) December 1, 2015

Ever since this DiCaprio news broke, Twitter has been unbearable. Amirite?

— Jim Antle (@jimantle) December 1, 2015

The Revenant, aka Look, Leo Basically Gets Raped By A Bear, Give Him The Goddamn Oscar Already

— Sarah (@Cinesnark) December 1, 2015

Jesus Christ. Step away from Twitter for ONE minute and Leonardo DiCaprio get’s raped by a bear.

— Ashe Schow (@AsheSchow) December 1, 2015

Whatever the truth, (and Fox executives are already denying the scene), it could finally be DiCaprio's year for the big one....